I had another child and remarried and my life was utter chaos. The marriage failed, I was now a single mother with 2 kids and I had Lyme Disease. Needless to say, things weren’t good and growth wasn’t happening. I grew interested in Wicca, Paganism & Buddhism. Anything that was not Catholic. I dabbled, but ultimately I became sedated in Catholicism.
I didn’t stay sedated or asleep however. I started really waking up again a few years ago. I have a friend named Bev, who lives in VA. Aside from her, I no longer had any friends who were interested in Spiritual topics. It was good to talk with her about it, but we were both on a path of discovery, and I needed someone who was a little more advanced. I met L.C. in 2011. She was well versed in the spiritual path and helped jostle me back to the light. I can run things by her and ask advice. She always has a logical answer to any question or problem I am having.
I have been slowly awakening since I met her. It had sped up from my previous state, but in hindsight, it was rather slow.
I don’t know what started the acceleration. I had no trauma in my life, it seemed to be spontaneous. One thing that happened at this time (which I don’t attribute to the acceleration) was I trusted someone, showed compassion and unconditional love and had my heart ripped out, stomped on and thrown in the fire. After this event…the awakening went from 0 to 60.
At first, I didn’t realize that this was what was happening. I thought I was losing my mind, and I couldn’t figure out why. Yes, I was hurt by this person, but I shouldn’t have been a mess. Looking back, I think what accelerated it was the act of compassion and unconditional love. At first, I thought it was a garden variety depression. But I started watching, reading and learning and I came across 51 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening and was surprised at what I read. Some symptoms seemed obvious, some brought clarity to my situation. Some of the stranger things that started to happen, that are attributed to Spiritual Awakening that have happened to me were:
Skin Eruptions – I sometimes had a zit pop up now and then, but it started to get ridiculous. The minute I got rid of one, three more showed up. The strange thing was, these eruptions were around the mouth. I never had acne there, now I was averaging 5 zits a minute. (see #9 in link)
A Desire to find your soul mate/twin flame - I had not really had this desire. After my 2nd divorce, I concentrated on raising my kids. Lately, this desire has arisen in me with a vengeance. It is not due to sexual desire, I just know it is time. (see #50)
Changing Sleep Patterns – I only suffered from insomnia or sleep problems when I worried about things, especially money. Otherwise, I would sleep straight through and drag myself out of bed when the alarm rang. I would nap on the weekend, but it would be in one clip for an hour or two. Now I find I wake up at 3:00am during the week without the aid of an alarm. If I do this on the weekend, I will go for a walk, come back home, sleep for another 2 hours, wake up, do stuff, go back to sleep for an hour, get up, do stuff, go back to sleep for 2 hours…you get the picture. (see #1)
A desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life draining jobs, consumptive lifestyles, and toxic people or situations – This was one that threw me for a loop. I never was fond of negative people, so that was not a surprise, what was a surprise is that I could not longer tolerate the crap that is on TV. I used to love to watch certain shows. I never was a fan of the violent stuff (crime shows etc. – Except “Bones”) but I didn’t mind watching shows like “Under the Dome” and other things of that nature. Now, I can’t. Watching them is remonstrant that annoying car alarm at 1:30 in the morning. I also canceled my Netflix DVD’s. I tried to watch a movie, and thought it was awful, low vibration and just plain bad. It was all too much. I never thought I would not enjoy a good movie or TV show. A woman I sit next to at work, whom I chatted with daily, I suddenly found negative and superficial. I stopped my daily chit-chatting with her. She must think I’m depressed or have lost my mind. (see #17)
When I read this, I sound like a snob, but truly I’m not. I am just not able to tolerate certain things anymore. I actually find it fascinating.
Out of the 51 symptoms on the list, I am going through most of them. These are just the ones that are too unusual to not mention.
And one that isn’t on this list, but I saw it on other lists that had me take another look was the fact that I no longer judge people. If I see someone that looks ‘interestingly different’ I just notice it and make no judgment. I may complement them in my head saying something like (That is a clever outfit) but nothing negative. I think this is one of the coolest symptoms so far.
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